Alls fair in love and war
by Kasei inu
Summary: Inuyasha's life sucks pretty bad, he losses his job and his apartment and now he's taking orders from Sesshomaru of all people! can this get any worse? oh wait... InuyashaxKagome MirokuxSango
1. Necessities?

*This story is a complete work of fiction, any relations to real life have been altered to fit the story line*

Disclaimer: I only own Inuyasha on the first of Octember

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"Next on court TV-"

"No"

"The tennis channel, all tennis all the time."

"No"

"SpongeBob Squarepants"

"For the love of god, no!" Inuyasha flipped the channel to an old kung fu movie and tossed the remote onto the raggedy cushion next to him with a sigh. He had almost drifted to sleep when the apartment door slammed open.

"Inuyasha wake up! I found a solution to our problem!" Miroku shouted running in throwing a paper in Inuyasha's face.

"I didn't know we had a problem, and is the noise really necessary?!" Inuyasha complained, throwing the paper back at him.

"Yes it is, look at this" Miroku unfolded the paper and stuck it in his face.

"Man arrested for sexually abusing his chickens? What does that have to do with us?"

"What? No, above that. It says right here, the military's recruit rates are the lowest in fifty years. They're so desperate they'll even take lazy slobs like you." Inuyasha pushed down the paper to look up at Miroku skeptically.

"And what makes you think I want to join up?" he asked.

"I just figured it'd be better then living on the streets." Miroku shrugged. Inuyasha jumped to his feet.

"The streets!? What the hell are you talking about Miroku?!" He growled backing him into a corner.

"Well, the landlord said we have till tomorrow to get our stuff and get out, which shouldn't be to hard considering what's left." He laughed nervously trying to inch himself around Inuyasha, and his fists.

"Wha…?" Inuyasha looked around the room for the first time in about three months. It was empty. He was even more surprised by the state of the kitchen.

"The stove Miroku?! That wasn't even ours!"

"Neither was the dish washer, do you think we'll have to pay for that?"

"Where the hell is all our stuff?!" Inuyasha yelled taking a step closer, cracking his knuckles. Miroku put his hands up in a peaceful gesture, or to defend himself if it came to that.

"I had to sell them to pay for…necessities, and since I got fired moneys been pretty tight." Inuyasha dropped his hands, feeling like he'd been out of the loop a little too long.

"When did you get fired?" Miroku shrugged,

"About a week ago. A new boss was just transferred in, she had the finest ass-"

"What the hell Miroku! I should kick your ass!" Inuyasha snatched him up by the front of his suspiciously expensive looking shirt.

"It's not like you've been much help lately!" Miroku spoke up in his defense, "All you've been doing is sitting on that couch like a love sick puppy." Inuyasha dropped him and started to pace.

"It's not like I haven't tried, Kikyo has made damn sure that I'm never getting a job in this city again." He seethed.

"Maybe you should of thought of that before you tried stealing her jewelry." Miroku suggested taking the last two cans of beer out of the fridge, leaving only a bottle of ketchup and three week old take out. He tossed one to Inuyasha.

"It wasn't me." He grumbled snatching it in the air. "It must have just been someone who looked like me."

"Ya, I mistake people for you all the time." Miroku scoffed flopping down on the sofa.

"Shut up" Inuyasha sighed sitting next to him. "So tell me about these 'necessities'…"

"Well it wasn't so much necessities as…"

"You spent all our money on gambling and strippers didn't you?"

"I'm afraid so." Miroku admitted shamefully

"So now you want us to join the military? You realize that is one of the dumbest plans you've ever come up with." Inuyasha stated, anger fading as he realized beating Miroku to a pulp wouldn't help anything.

"Really? I thought selling our kidneys was a pretty dumb plan. What's wrong with it?"

"Besides the fact that neither one of us have that kind of dedication or team spirit, I've got a brother who joined up a few years ago and I do not want to risk having to be anywhere near him again." Inuyasha answered reluctantly.

"Come on, do you know how many people are in the military? The chances of running into him are like, slim to none. Besides, what else are you gonna do? Move home?" Miroku smirked, internally congratulating himself. Inuyasha shivered.

"I guess your right," he sighed. "What are the chances?"

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Ok so chapter one is up! If anyone one else listens to 89x in the morning they'll understand the chicken thing =). Please R&R!


	2. Of all the squads

So I have to admit that I don't know much about my own countries military workings, let alone Japan's. I would appreciate any corrections that anyone thinks I should make=)

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-2 weeks later-

"Of all the squads to place a half-breed like you, you ended up in mine. How unfortunate for you." As Sesshomaru stalked away, his long white hair looking out of place against his beige uniform, Inuyasha whispered to Miroku standing next to him.

"Miroku."

"Yes?"

"I'm going to kill you."

"Can I at least get a head start?" Miroku asked helplessly.

"You have two seconds" Inuyasha growled.

"What kind of a head start is-?"

"One"

"Ahhhh!" Miroku ran screaming through the base, Inuyasha not far behind, knocking down people of all ranks unlucky enough to be in their way.

"Take it like a man!" Inuyasha shouted after him

"I'd rather not!" Miroku shouted back. Inuyasha was following him so intently that he hadn't realized that he was being lead in a complete circle bringing him back to-

"Enough." A familiar commanding voice ordered grabbing Miroku and lifting him straight off the ground. Inuyasha had picked up to much speed for the sudden stop he'd attempted and ended up flat on his face right at the feet of one Staff Sergeant Sesshomaru Toshio.

"Thank god you where here Staff Sergeant, he-."

"Quiet monk." Sesshomaru snapped. Miroku clamped his mouth shut and started pondering his new title.

"Inuyasha, still after all this time you act like a child. As fitting a place it is, do you plan on picking your face up from the dirt?" Inuyasha picked up his head with a smirk,

"Well I figure from down here I don't have to see your ugly mug, sir" He shot back. Sesshomaru just smiled down at him, sending a cold chill through them both.

* * *

"He's going to kill us all." Miroku stated blankly, stepping into his barracks from a storm, hunched over from exhaustion. He shuffled over to his bed and fell in fully clothed.

"It hurts to breathe," he whined.

"That bad, huh monk?" A man he remembered was named Koru asked with a laugh.

"What is it with this monk thing?" Miroku groaned. He'd been trying to figure it out all day with no success.

"It means you're afraid to fight, passive, like a monk. Basically it means you're a coward." Koru's bunk mate chimed in, seeming to enjoy the explanation little too much.

"I would argue with you right now, but I'm kinda using all my energy not dying." Miroku retorted sleepily.

"So what happened to Inuyasha?" The man continued.

"Poor guy doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut…"Miroku mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Lightning crashed as Inuyasha slammed the door open, determined to wake everyone else up, and dragged himself to bed.

"You're dead Miroku." He seethed, but ignored him on the bottom bunk and jumping on top.

Outside two men watched from the window.

"You're sure about these guys?" the younger one asked.

"No family, no friends, their not gonna be missed." The other replied gruffly.

"And the other two?" the first man insisted.

"Come on, you think I haven't thought this through? Now stop with the questions, we're sending them out tomorrow." The second man stated and stomped away. The younger man stared in the window for a moment before following after.

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It's short but the next chapter will be up real soon so no worries!^_^


	3. Thats a little harsh

All right chapter three is up! it's been a while, but i have a good excuse. Exams=( and writers block but i think ive got it now. btw im looking for a beta if anyone is interested=).

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The next morning started with the sound of a trumpet, at least twenty decibels louder then it had to be.

"I knew we should have sold our kidneys." Miroku complained, rolling off the bed onto the concrete floor. "Ow."

"I think I'm deft" Inuyasha sat straight up, eyes wide and ears perked.

"Stupid mutt shouldn't even be here." A voice sneered.

"How can they expect us to sleep in the same room as that?" another one added. Inuyasha relaxed and jumped down, on top of Miroku.

"Never mind, I can still hear the wind between dumb and dumber's ears over there so I must be good." Laughter erupted while a few more jabs were thrown from other men. The fun was interrupted when the door slammed open.

"If you have time to laugh I assume you're ready for inspection."

Other then the few sharper individuals, most of the men stood and stared dumb struck in their boxers.

"I said, prepare for inspection!" Sesshomaru rose his voice slightly and the rest of them fell in line in front of their disheveled bunks. Before he could start Inuyasha yawned, loudly. Sesshomaru's eyes snapped towards him and he strode past five other relieved soldiers to meet him.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you were desperate for my attention, little brother." Sesshomaru sneered placing himself intimidatingly close.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you liked being close to me, big brother." Inuyasha smirked back. Sesshomaru looked down at him disgusted and knocked him to the floor.

"What'd you do that for?!" Inuyasha growled. Next to him Miroku smacked his forehead and muttered something about stupid dogs.

"Inuyasha, if you're so energetic I assume the rest of your squad is as well. Might as well put it to good use, everyone can thank Inuyasha; we're getting an early start today. Everyone outside." Sesshomaru smirked as Inuyasha flinched under the glares sent his way as the men filtered out in their boxers and T-shirts.

"Run." Sesshomaru instructed simply. While they ran Inuyasha caught the receiving end of a few cheap shots, most of them from Miroku. Sesshomaru would have laughed if he wasn't in public. He was all too conscience of people around him, he was currently ease-dropping on a conversation between two Sergeants.

"Damn, what a hard ass," one muttered.

"What else do you expect from a demon, can't say it doesn't work though. I hear he's in the running for another promotion."

"Wow, he's so young."

"Looks it doesn't he? Can't really tell with their kind. If you ask me it's just dangerous, the higher ups aren't gonna like it. They like their stripes a little too much to have him come in and take them."

Sesshomaru smirked, _"They're afraid of me."_ He thought happily.

"S-Staff Sergeant Sesshomaru?" a little green imp stammered.

"What is it Jaken?" he sighed, his good mood gone.

"First Sergeant Hitori has asked for you in his office." He reported in his squeaky voice. Sesshomaru growled. He didn't enjoy his visits with the first Sergeant. The man put up a cheerful front, but Sesshomaru could see the devious, conniving, rat underneath.

"Watch them, I'll be back" He ordered, leaving the shaking imp behind.

"Staff Sergeant Sesshomaru reporting." He saluted begrudgingly.

"At ease, please take a seat." The older man offered. A smile spread across his portly face beneath his crooked nose and thick mustache.

"I'd prefer to stand." Sesshomaru replied. Hitori's smile wavered momentarily.

"Of course, I'm sure you're anxious to get back to work so I'll make this quick, I have an assignment for you." He handed him a folder and sat back to watch his reaction. He seemed disappointed when he didn't get one.

"A training mission in Dejya*, understood." He said simply. Hitori coughed trying to hide his displeasure.

"Well then, you'll be leaving latter today, you'll be meeting the Corporal when you arrive. Dismissed." Sesshomaru grit his teeth suppressing a growl before giving a curt salute and shutting the door behind him.

"_Sending a mutt, a monk, and a woman to a hostile country for a training mission, lowly vermin." _

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* Dejya is a fictional country i made up by closing my eyes and hitting the keyboard^_-


	4. You know what they say when you assume

Hi everyone^_^ im back! I had some hold ups like holidays *cough*and pure laziness*cough* but its up and longer then the others so ya, here ya go=)

As always i love to here what cha think so pleasepleaseplease comment

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Inuyasha and Miroku were alone in the bunks at lunch, neither one in need of anymore abuse from their supposed 'brothers in arms'. This is where Sesshomaru found them.

"Dejya? I was under the impression that the Dejyaian government was not on good terms with the Japanese." Miroku asked nervously.

"In other words, don't they wanna kill our sorry asses?" Inuyasha added.

"Are you afraid Inuyasha? You could request to be assigned elsewhere if you're too scared." Sesshomaru smirked pretending to read some files.

"Of course not, I'll take um all on, you just watch me!" Inuyasha laughed confidently forgetting décor and leaning against a bunk post. Sesshomaru eyed him distastefully, but didn't bother wasting his breath to correct him.

"I'm scared, can I make a request?" Miroku raised his hand high sweat dripping from his forehead. Sesshomaru ignored him and kicked Inuyasha's legs out from him when he slouched down too far.

"Be ready by tonight." He instructed before turning to leave. He spared one last hard glance back at them then left.

"Weird." Inuyasha mumbled, noticing the look.

"Weird?! Is that all you have to say?! We're gonna die, that's just what's gonna happen!" Miroku shouted waving his hands and shaking his head.

"Chill out, we knew we'd be sent somewhere who cares where it is?" Inuyasha shrugged reclining lazily on the floor scratching his ear with a clawed finger.

"You really have no idea about the world do you?" Miroku sighed falling into a state of depression.

"Let me just put it this way, us going to Dejya is like you inviting yourself to a human supremacist spa weekend."

Inuyasha cocked his brow and thought about it for a minute, he flinched at his imagination.

"That doesn't sound good at all." He stated sitting up, "What should we do?"

Miroku stroked his chin looking up at the rafters long enough to convince Inuyasha that he wasn't _really_ thinking.

"I've got it!" He said brightly, "We should run."

Inuyasha sighed and slouched back down crossing his arms,

"Their right, you are a coward." He scoffed.

"I'm not a coward, I'm practical!" Miroku argued.

"Ya real practical, you really want to run from Sesshomaru? You should hear what happened to last guy who tried that." Inuyasha laughed a little and Miroku sweat more.

"Well what do you want to do genius?" He grumbled sitting on his bunk.

"I don't really care; I'm not scared of those tattooed bastards!" Inuyasha professed and jumped up excitedly. Miroku watched him in disbelief.

"Are you telling me that you, of all people, are racist against Dejyaians?" Inuyasha shrugged and started piling clothes into a case.

"Fine." Miroku conceded, "I'll go, but if I die my death better haunt you for the rest of your obnoxiously long life."

* * *

"We will take the ship to port Tokien; from there we will be airlifted to a base near a small village known as Hera. We will start our mission there, understood?"

"Yes sir." Miroku and Inuyasha replied. Boarding the ship, the nervousness they'd been feeling in the bunk tripled. Miroku attempted to jump ship when it actually pulled from port.

"Get back up here asshole! You're not getting out of this!"

"Pathetic." Another soldier muttered seeing Inuyasha pull him back. "You should be honored to serve your country." He snapped.

"Buzz off asshole, no one asked you." Inuyasha snarled. The other man moved quickly, drawing in on him.

"What was that private? Do I have to tell you that I am a Corporal and there for your superior?" Miroku dug his elbow into Inuyasha's ribs and gave a proper salute

"He apologizes for his disrespect, sir." He apologized in his place.

"I can see that." The Corporal replied sarcastically. "Just make sure he learns to watch his mouth, consider this your only warning." He directed the last part toward Inuyasha, turned around sharply, and left them on deck.

"Hard ass," Inuyasha grumbled. "What was all that about anyway, I don't apologize for crap."

He leaned against the rail next to Miroku, not putting any feeling into his words. They watched the port disappear in silence and the sun set over the land they were leaving behind.

"Well, it's just training right? We'll be back before we know it." Inuyasha punched Miroku in the arm softly, a confident smirk streached across his face. Miroku sighed down at the water then looked back up, forcing a smile of his own.

"Ya, we should probably get below deck before someone notices were not doing anything." Miroku tapped his fist against the rail before pushing off and turning his back on the view of his departing home and hurrying himself below.

Inuyasha glanced back; he wasn't leaving anything behind, he thought to himself. No family, an ex who hated him, a dead end career. That's all that was there. He thought about the men bustling below him who had something to lose and how some of them wouldn't come back from their missions.

He shook his head, dislodging the thought.

"Where the hell is Inuyasha?!" a voice shouted from the stairs. He smirked and ran down to meet the officer.

* * *

Port Tokien pulled into view like an ominous brown streak across the horizon.

"Tell the Corporal we'll be docking soon." Sesshomaru had ordered.

"You know, it doesn't take two of us to tell him." Inuyasha grumbled taking his time through the metal halls.

"Since I was the one who got the order, I was kinda thinking that myself." Miroku replied raising an eyebrow. Inuyasha looked away with a keh'.

"Something about this Corporal guy seems off to me, I just can't tell what it is." He thought out loud.

"It's talk like that that gets us in trouble." Miroku sighed. He stopped at a door and knocked as loud as he could. He waited a few seconds then knocked again without answer. He looked at Inuyasha who shrugged and pushed him out of the way to open the door himself.

"Wait Inuyasha! You can't…!" Inuyasha swung the door open and both faces went pale before turning burning red. The Corporal was laying in bed with headphones turned on high, no shirt, and no bra.

"Cor-Corporal?"

READ BELOW FOR NEW CHAPTER!

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If anyone can tell what they say about when you assume then a new chapter will be written.


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